That’s how I feel.
Like a car that spurts and sputters while running on fumes, I know my tank is empty but I have to keep moving.
The question is, “Can I?”
People are counting on me.
People are calling on me.
People are leaning on me.
People are relying on me.
People are wanting me to be there for them in their time of need.
But I’m empty.
I want to minister to others, to be an assuring presence, to be an instrument of peace, to be a tangible reminder of God’s grace, mercy, and presence. So I keep on going.
Even though I’m running on fumes, I keep going.
What choice do I have?
But I’m empty.
I know I’m not the only one. Other people feel empty too, and that’s why I try my best to “pour into” them the blessings of God.
But I am running dry.
And I know why.
You do too, Lord.
It’s been a little over three weeks since we buried Dad, and it still doesn’t seem real.
It doesn’t seem real that I have buried a son and a father.
It doesn’t seem real that I watched them both take their last breaths.
It doesn’t seem real that I am once again fighting my way through the fog of unexpected death.
But it is real.
And that’s why I’m empty.
There’s been no time to grieve and no space to process.
Too many people need my help.
But I confess, Lord, that I don’t feel that I am in a place to help.
Because I’m empty.
If only you could see our emptiness, Lord.
If only you could meet the unmet needs that leave us empty, Lord.
If only you could roll away our feelings of emptiness, Lord.
If only you could fill us up so that we would never run dry, Lord.
Oh, but you have, Lord!
You have met empty with empty, for you have overpowered our feelings of emptiness through the empty tomb of Jesus.
What good news this is!
Because of the empty tomb…I know that my life is not empty.
Because of the empty tomb…I know that my feelings of emptiness won’t last forever.
Because of the empty tomb…I know that the empty place in my heart will be filled with your everlasting presence.
Because of the empty tomb…I know that any emptiness in this world will one day be redeemed.
Because of the empty tomb…I know that there is rescue, deliverance, and salvation from the emptiness of this world.
Because of the empty tomb…I know that there is love, joy, peace, and hope readily available to me on the days I feel empty.
I can keep going.
I will keep going.
I can “pour into” others.
I will “pour into” others.
I can make known the good news of a Savior.
I will make known the good news of a Savior.
Because the tomb is empty!